Monday, March 30, 2009

Missing In Life

i have been living an alternative life for the past week.  unfortunately only a week ago (a week after being robbed), i witnessed a murder in the park behind our house.  it was shoot and run.  noel, jason, kari, and i have been exhausted.  the weight of evil in this world has been rocking our faith... i mean shaking the fuck out of our faith.  this week has been filled with fear, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and frustration.  i have felt totally helpless.  i have never prayed more in my life.  i feel changed. 

do you remember moments when you were a child and something occurred in your life that shook you... that took away apart of your innocence and naivety.  you were left with this realization that this very scary thing that you have witnessed has been apart of the fabric of life for a very long time.  murder is daily, frequent, and gruesome.  i thought that i accreted that truth along time ago... but i hadn't.

my heart is still heavy, but i am convinced that God chose me to witness that atrocity.  only 4 days later, i attended a conference through sojourn that surrounded itself with the Gospel and how it applies to the inner city and its problems.  i attended a prayer walk with my church around shelby park, i met tons of new people that live in my neighborhood that are affected by this happening. the problems of this inner city, shelby park, and louisville are much bigger then me.  i will not turn away from them, but become more humbled by them, that i am small, but God is great.

i plan on designing again this week... trying to transition back into my responsibilities.

i have a great love for you


1 comment:

  1. 6Is not this the fast that I choose: TO LOOSE THE BONDS OF INJUSTICE, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? 7Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin?

    8Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up quikcly; your vindicator shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. 9Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry for help, and he will say, Here I am. If you remove the yoke from among you, the pointing of the finger, the speaking of evil, 10if you offer your food to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted, then your light shall rise in the darkness and your gloom be like the noonday.

    11The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your needs in parched places, and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters never fail. 12Your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, THE RESTORER OF STREETS TO LIVE IN." -Isaiah 58:6-12

    I look forward to seeing you all, praying with you all, sharing meals with you all, loving on you all and listening to yall in my time spent at home. see you soon.

    your sister,